Hi!
I'm not at E3, but I play one on my PlayStation. That's the same thing, right?
So anyway, I have a pile of things to say about the things that I'm virtually seeing (THROUGH SCIENCE), but I don't have that kind of time today. Instead, let's make up a bunch of quotes from press and devs alike that don't actually exist. That'll be more fun. You may want to watch some press conferences before reading these, but whatever.
-A vegan, a Crossfit-ter, and a Dark Souls player walk into a bar. I know because they won't shut up about it.
-Developers went from jerking people around to jerking people off. Thanks for the Final Fantasy remake!
-Microsoft has turned into Sony turned into Microsoft. "Backward compatibility" is now platform holder parlance to "sit and spin, dipshits."
-Wait, you all saw that there's going to be a Nier sequel, too? So, I didn't do a boatload of peyote early this morning? Weird.
-Amiibo: brought to you in partnership with Platinum Games
