Cross Up Shenanigans

I love fighting games. Love them. I loved them when I was a kid, and I love them even more now. But, as anybody whom has ever really loved a competitive video game can tell you, there's a breaking point; the part where you start getting pretty good. Sometimes, you start getting a little too good, even. By this, I mean good enough that your friends just don't want to play you any more. After all, you're the guy that sits around and plays it all the time, you're the guy with the opportunity to train, and you're the guy that's more immersed in the experience. Unless you know other people just as devoted to it as you are, you're just going to widen that new found gap.

This turns out to be a downward slide. Sure, there are tons of characters in, say Capcom Vs. SNK 2 to choose from, or maybe you haven't completed all of the sub modes in Soul Calibur 2 through 4, or maybe you find great practice in the survival modes in Tekken Tag, but you're just delaying the inevitable truth; and that truth is the cold realization that no matter how hard it can be sometimes, and how cheap you think Gill is to fight, the computer just not a very good opponent. Ok, now by "good opponent" I can mean a lot of things, but honestly, how fun is it to play a competitive fighting game when you're only really competing against yourself?

Then the zeitgeist started. You know what I'm talking about: the current rebirth of the 2D fighting game scene. It started with Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix and is continuing to supernova with Street Fighter 4. But when you take a clear look at the playing field, you cannot honestly say that the 2D fighting game left. The Guilty Gear series has been going fairly strong since the Playstation One, the Dreamcast, PS2, and Xbox all had ports of Marvel Vs. Capcom 2, and Arcana Heart and Battle Fantasia are both modern day competitive fighters that pre-date SF4. There are tons of great 2D fighters that have been steadily released over the last 10 years to keep the hard core satiated. So what happened? Is it because Capcom finally released a proper Street Fighter sequel that the scene is back in the mainstream? Others have called SF4 more accessible than a lot of the other games out there right now, and it's true; SF4 is a lot more forgiving with its combos and super moves than even HD Remix. But my fiancée can't pull off a Shoryuken, and I bet your kid brother can't either, at least at the onset. You can't tell me that a game with these kinds of complex movement and button mechanics is completely accessible. So what's the straight dope here?

The answer is online fighting. But not just online fighting. Be with me for a second: the Xbox had online fights with SVC Chaos and Street Fighter 3: Third Strike, and the original Street Fighter 2 Turbo showed up on Xbox Live. All of these were massive mistakes. It's not that the games weren't great (except maybe kinda sorta SVC Chaos...), the online play simply wasn't stable. Getting dropped from fights or crippling internet lag makes competitive fighting games require precise movements for higher-tiered play nearly unplayable. Fast forward to today, however, and things are a bit different. Fights are more stable with SF4; you can not only choose your opponents based on their internet settings, but also their perceived skill. Now that games are global and you could logically play against me if you live in the UK and I'm here in North America, a more stable online experience is really turning it around for either the lapsed fighting game Catholic or, at least in my case, their noob loved ones. For me, it was even a weird form of salvation, at least in the beginning. Finally! More than just the computer!

But it still isn't perfect. One cannot do anything about physical distance between players that causes internet hiccups. Capcom still has problems with fights "not counting" in their Championship Mode that takes GP away from you. Even players that are mediocre can tell you that loosing piles of points to someone you know is beneath you due to slow button reaction caused by a lousy internet connection makes you want to throw a cat out of a window.

So there I sat last night with perfect strangers in a beautiful home about 40 minutes from mine. To you, this may sound absurd. To me, it seemed to be the only answer. After playing countless hours of Street Fighter 4, Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix, Soul Calibur 4 and whatever else I can find online (and a few more emulated on a PC from time to time), a level playing field was now a necessity, and a long drive was the only option left. After reading this article over at Gamasutra.com, I was given a new hope and a lot of renewed interest. The article, basically detailing the regional match-making that is becoming more common around the country for guys to get together and play, led me back to the forums at fighting game super source Shoryuken.com which has forums ranging from specific character match strategies (for a variety of games) to how to best modify your custom-built joy pad/ stick. I set myself up with my regional crowd -guys that have been playing together for a couple of years, at least- and the host was very welcoming for new people to pop in. Last night was that first pop.

I expected... well, shit, I had no idea what to expect. One part of me thought it was going to be a bunch of highly elitist dicks: the kinds of guys that I couldn't tell that I've been primarily using a game pad over the last however many years, or that I really don't care for Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 all that much. The other part was worried that we were going to be sitting in some kid's parents' basement ("Mom! MEATLOAF!") and having conversations about anime chicks. Both of those possibilities are weirdly intimidating. The reality, strangely enough, was a mixture of both. The host, let's call him Paul, was a very welcoming and cheerful guy in his early- mid 20's. He shook my hand, greeted me with a smile, and then introduced me to his mother as we walked inside the palace that he called a house and moseyed down the basement. The others, a heavier set African American guy with slammin' hair and fellow of Latino descent, were much quieter, and after we started turning machines on, I found out why. I was fresh meat.

As the host began setting up another TV for HD Remix, the other two guys and I began a winner-stays-looser-walks rotation of SF4. Everyone, not counting me, brought their own sticks with them -some personally customized. Billy, the African American guy, was proficient with just about everyone he used. Probably more so with Balrog and the Shotos, he firmly established himself as king of the hill early on, and he barely spoke a fucking word. Mike, the Latino, brought a newer stick with him and mainly used Sagat, whom would pull of cancelling/ ultra move combos that made my head spin. He played very much like me in that when he lost, he didn't just place blanket blame on the game or the other player as being cheap, he knew it was his own fault if he blew it. It was clear from the second I walked down to that cold, messy (though large enough to fit my entire apartment, maybe twice over) basement that these two guys were going to drop me like a bad habit. I picked up a spare stick to play with, and a little unaccustomed to the controls, I did what I could until I started to learn their play styles so I could adjust mine to compete. These two, though, were all business. I tried to ask questions to get a dialogue going that met with blank stares. I tried to converse about the ins-and-outs of the SF4 game system only to get quick responses. It's not that these guys were off putting, or even just assholes, though. These guys were there to play, not chit chat, and they wanted to see what I was made of.

Things lightened up a bit when Drew, a younger, almost freakishly cheerful guy of Asian lineage arrived with a Hori Real Arcade Pro fight stick (if this is the Cadillac of sticks, the HRAP is probably the Lexus). Now that I was fairly sure that the United Nations was all accounted for and ready to throw down on some Street Fighter, the night went on a little less silently. That is, at least, on the HD Remix side of the room where Drew and Paul were having a great time beating the snot out each other with Dee Jay and Sagat. Things were still a little quiet and tenuous for me until I started to step up my game when I would hear a "nice" thrown out ever now and then. I was beginning to break Mike's Sagat game with my Ken and as my ego was starting to boost his blood pressure was starting to rise, but not maliciously. All of us began to throw out help with tactics for each other, but not enough to tip our hand to the next guy up (you don't want to tell that guy that uses Balrog that you let yourself sit in a corner and bait him, do you? No, you sure as shit don't.).

A few hours, a lot of SF4, and a little Third Strike later, I was out the door with a handshake from Paul and an invitation to come back every Monday night. It's funny, the older I get, the less likely I am to just meet people like this and expand my list of people that play. I can't help but be grateful for the opportunity, but daddy's got some practicing to do. I see your Balrog coming, Billy, and I'm not falling for that Head Butt/ Ultra combo again. At least, not next Monday, I won't.

CCAG 09

Just a shout for the Cleveland Classic Console and Arcade Game show going down on May 23rd from noon until 8. Want to find some wacky old stuff that only your dad's weird uncle remembers (like the Vectrex)? Yeah, there's tons of that shit there. Come on out and support Escape From Rungistan... meaning old games that are still awesome. When you get there, you can go ahead and buy Escape From Rungistan. When you get home and finish Escape From Rungistan, you can go ahead and thank me for putting you in the know. I'll be shimmying around the show myself, so say howdy if you can figure out which one is me...

I can't link to their flyer, so check out their website for details.

It's Charles Bronson Time

Ladies and germs, I'm good and sick of waiting around for Mad Catz to pump out more Street Fighter Tournament Edition sticks. I have no doubt in my mind that having one of these sticks, or an equivalent, will make these two magical hands into those of a master surgeon, and now, steps must be made. The law will have to be taken into these two magical hands. It's time for some lateral thinking.

Thus, this summer, my brother(s) and I will be custom building my own fight stick. Will it look as nuts as the above Akuma stick? Fucks no. That thing's nuts. What it will look like, however, is a double dose of awesome with a whisky chaser (and a 4x4 button design so I can play SF4 and SNK games).

I'll try to document this odyssey as best I can as the weeks and (hopefully not) months roll by. Stay tuned.

Nerdmas? Hmm, Too Dumb A Term To Coin

So last week, Best Buy had an absurd sale on PS3, Wii, 360, and DS games- many of them for about $10. That's right, only ten clams. I, as all three of you that read this might suspect, jumped on this like this chick on Rob Halford. It was little less of a haul than I thought it would be, but you can't deny the power of Only Ten Bucks. Think about it. Would you go see performance art? Punch George Lucas for The Prequels? Go to a Tommy Seebach reunion show? Of course you would if it was Only Ten Bucks.

So there I was, with a couple of Only Ten Bucks on me. Since they didn't have a copy of Devil May Cry 4 for PS3 for OTB, I settled with Lost Planet and Soul Calibur 4. Evidently, they also had copies of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword for DS on sale, too, but the masterminds at the Best Buy I ended up at hid them from me. Savages.

So Lost Planet. Had I actually lost Lost Planet on my way home, it would have been no loss (see what I did there?). Ok, ok; it's not a terrible game by any stretch, but certainly no gem. Standard run and gun game mechanics apply to what is basically your time on Hoth, just no Han Solo to stuff you into a tauntaun if you really get in the shit. The weapon choices are fairly standard and the plot is downright abusive to my good taste and sensibilities. Still, for Only Ten Bucks? Yeah, worth every penny. Let's break it down:

- I get to blow stuff up. I love making things s'plode, even on Hoth.
- I get to use a grappling hook. Sure, it isn't the most well implemented mechanic in the game (or any game with a grappling hook), but it kinda makes me feel like a ninja. I love ninjas. On Hoth. Believe it.
- I'm more than half way through the game, and that tickles me. See, I usually play long games, and to have one that I have no beef getting rid of as soon as it's finished makes me happy that it's almost over.
- I'm not inclined to play online with it, but it's nice to know that it's there if want it. Options in this regard, are quite swell.

There you have it. I'll never look back on it as a misunderstood classic, but for OTB, it was the bee's knees.

Soul Calibur 4, though? Let's see. I like fighting games. In fact, I like them a lot. So much so, that I won a Tekken 3 tournament in college and got a couch out of the deal (don't get too impressed, it was a nasty couch). So let's make that a mathematical equation:

Enjoyment x (Street Fighter/ Tekken/ King of Fighters)/ Price = Worth It

Notice that Soul Calibur 4 does not factor into the above Euclidean methodology. It very well could be said that the Soul Calibur series is a weapons-based extension of Tekken, but it could also be said that one-armed golfing mosquitoes are invading Poland (read: it just ain't true). Therefore, it was hard to justify my purchase of SC4 prior to last week. After spending a fairly extensive amount of time with it, I find it enormously complicated, even for a weapons-based fighting game. Going through the story mode so I could unlock stuff was fun, but there didn't seem to be any weight to it. Its presentation is insanely pompous, too, which is pretty funny, now that I think about it, but gets old quick. OTB, though? Hurm...

- Lots of a characters, and they's all kindsa wacky. Seriously. Wacky.
- Solid online play. I've been playing more than my share of online fighting games over the last few months, and this is probably the most stable game so far. Then again, I super suck at this game, so it's a little hard to get into it when I know I'm calling a butt kicking down on myself.
- It's pretty. Really, it's a game that's been working out and is now entering a modeling competition. The flip side to that is that certain, how shall we say, design decisions were made as far as females in this game go, and it's just too absurd for me. Just because I'm a dude doesn't mean that I think it's way rad that women strap bowling balls to their chest. Stupid Namco...
- Darth Vader. He was on Hoth once. It all comes together...

Still on the fence about Soul Calibur 4, then. The best part? Say it with me: Only Ten Bucks. While I foresee a trip to my local trade in joint when I get finished unlocking things in SC4 and finally crush Lost Planet, I'll say that this was twenty bones well spent.

How Misery Is Hilarious: Afterthoughts on FFVIII

You know what? I actually did go through Final Fantasy VIII during the weeks following my time with VII. You know what I found? Well, just about the same stuff everybody talks about (and more!), but is worth talking about again. You know what we're gonna do? Talk about them. Your damn right we are...

FFVIII is probably the most polarizing game in the proper franchise for a lot of reasons. Probably the first and foremost of these is its enormously complex stat boosting system. Known in the game as "junctioning", the player is forced to draw magic spells from enemies and assign (junction) them to their statistics. The more of the same spell you have junctioned (up to 100), the better the stat becomes. The more powerful the spell combined with the amount you have (100 Fire spells aren't half as good as 100 Flares, and so on), the stat becomes that much stronger. Bearing all of this in mind, getting your head firmly wrapped around this early on can make the game either a snap or a total drag. Specifically, drawing magic spells out of your enemies is so tedious that it makes you long for the time when you could just step on those fools and move on. In this game, each new enemy that you encounter (and in the overworld you will encounter a lot. The encounter rate here can get astronomical) must be checked to see if they have something that you want, and then you have to play the cat and mouse game of drawing their magic while you stay alive.

The second major problem with junctioning, and one my biggest beefs with the game in general, is it's stance on experience points. See, since you are allocating abundant resources to your stats (magic can be found all over the place, so it's relatively easy to find stat boosts through good junctions), the typical RPG growth system of accumulating experience points for level boosts is far less meaningful as you only get minor upgrades to base character statistics. That, really, is small potatoes to the real problem: ENEMIES LEVEL WITH YOU. It doesn't matter if it's the first slug you fought or the boss of the super secret dungeon (or whatever), if you don't have a lot of strong magic junctioned to you, you're going to get your ass kicked eventually on no matter how high leveled you are. What this essentially means is that the game forces you to accept it on its own terms. You are forced to make good use of the junction system, or you will succumb to the hell of 1000 Game Over screens.

How do I know this? Well, here's a story: a few years ago, when I played this game for the first time, I didn't follow a guide and let myself carelessly meander through the game. At first, it was fun getting to know the little ins and outs of the game world and powering up my Guardian Forces (summon spells in this game, which are also tied to junctions). Since the in-game tutorials were vague on little things (like strengthening junctions) and noticeably silent on others (ENEMIES LEVEL WITH YOU. Stupid.), I found myself spamming GF monsters incessantly. This was not only a totally boring way to play the game (those GF monster animations are long and repetitive), but it tied my hands in certain key endgame battles since I either couldn't use them or they weren't strong enough anyway. So there I sat, capped at level 100 with my characters, and consistently getting my ass handed to me by the final boss of the game. It's been my white whale ever since.

Now, the other side to this game system is how easily it can be exploited under the right circumstances. After doing the right amount of research, one can pretty easily blast through the beginning of the game (after obtaining some almost unfair early-game junctionable magic) and bide their time until near the end where they can easily grab all of the high-level magic, and then crack the whole thing wide open. Hell, that's what I did this time around, and it pretty much turned into a joke. Just goes to show how the internet proves yet again that it's always smarter than you were while in college.

FFVIII has many other noticeable faults. For one, every bit of it bleeds the word "excessive". Every battle that you fight starts with an unnecessary amount of zoomed and panned camera angles and pre-fight battle animations. While it may have seemed like a clever way to mask loading times back then seems like trite wastes of time now. The plot, also, takes far too long to get its feet on the ground. True, this is more of a character-driven story than some of the other Final Fantasy games, but much of events of the game are wrapped up way to easily near the end. Without giving anything away, it seemed that the solution to everyone's problems probably could have been thought of at the end of disk one, and that would have been the end of that. Sure, part of the fun of playing through games like this is to see how things fall together, but it was almost near the end of disk 3 (of 4) where it seemed like there was any cohesion to the story, and then it was over.

Then again, it has other differences compared to the FF pantheon that makes it just priceless. For one, main character Squall is a dick. I don't mean an angsty, somewhat self absorbed loner jerk like FFVII's Cloud and countless other main characters that came after him, I mean he's an absolute asshole. Now, I can see how people don't like this, but seeing a main character be so much of a detached chump was just hilarious. If every RPG character has "'tude", Squall has a nearly incurable attitude PROBLEM. What's better is that when he finally loses his cool later in the game, it has so many exclamation marks after his sentences that I feel a little cheated that there wasn't any voice acting. I love hearing pretty boy JRPG characters scream at the top of their lungs. That kind of comedy is a reason to wake up everyday.

After playing through Final Fantasy VII, I'm that much more impressed by the graphics. To be fair, Playstation One games do not age well as character models were large and blocky (at one point, I think a character was holding a clipboard. Or maybe it was a green sandwich. Or perhaps an Alaskan fish...), but the backgrounds still look spectacular decade later, and the fully rendered cut scenes -for the most part- still look great. The opening cinematic stands tall as a great set piece, and the fire fight in the Ragnarok late in the game is amazing. Even in their strange form, the characters animate pretty well and have realistic motions to them; all a huge step up from VII two years earlier.

So there you have it. Time has not been especially kind to FFVIII in terms of how some of it looks and how some of it plays, but what it got right almost makes the whole experience worth it. I truth, the whole game feels like a mish mash of really good ideas that just didn't equate to a cohesive whole. Then again, if you were ever inclined to find out for yourself, you can grab a copy of it in good shape pretty easily for under $20. After the last few weeks, I'd actually say it's worth it.

Here's a pretty interesting article for some further reading. As always, Gametrailers.com (which seems to be down at the moment) has a really well researched video retrospective, but it's squished in with Final Fantasy IX which, while fun, isn't worth getting into. Have a good weekend, fools.

The Chubbies

So it seems that Sony's corporate ninja squad will find me and do mean things to my own corporate ninja squad if I divulge toooooo much about Fat Princess. I love my ninjas, so I'll comply, but not before saying that I'm having lots of fun with the game and the beta process is really easy. I play the game and I post my thoughts, much like here. Only there, it's read by worker bees whereas here, it's read by... um...well more worker bees.

Shit. Walked right into that one.

Fat Princess

Cats and Kittens, I've been selected to be one of the Fat Princess beta testers. That's right, I'll be feeding cake to skinny fantasy chicks while my workers toss bombs at walls and build ladders (or whatever). More updates to follow with my thoughts on not only the game, but also the beta test process. This being the first one I've been in (not counting free MMOs when I'm ... oh, hell, I'll say it: when I'm cold and alone), I'm pretty curious to see how it all works.

Stay tuned