Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Memorable Quotes From E3 That Nobody Said

Hi!

I'm not at E3, but I play one on my PlayStation. That's the same thing, right?

So anyway, I have a pile of things to say about the things that I'm virtually seeing (THROUGH SCIENCE), but I don't have that kind of time today. Instead, let's make up a bunch of quotes from press and devs alike that don't actually exist. That'll be more fun. You may want to watch some press conferences before reading these, but whatever.

-A vegan, a Crossfit-ter, and a Dark Souls player walk into a bar. I know because they won't shut up about it.

-Developers went from jerking people around to jerking people off. Thanks for the Final Fantasy remake!

-Microsoft has turned into Sony turned into Microsoft. "Backward compatibility" is now platform holder parlance to "sit and spin, dipshits."


-Wait, you all saw that there's going to be a Nier sequel, too? So, I didn't do a boatload of peyote early this morning? Weird.

-Amiibo: brought to you in partnership with Platinum Games


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